Wake Me Up Before you Go Go

The year was 1984, I was 5 years old.  It was Sunday morning and every one was scurrying about getting ready for church.  Luckily for us, the church was right across the street, so even if we were running late, it wouldn't take much time to get there. 

But there was a slight problem keeping everyone from getting out the door, it was me.  Once again, I did NOT want to go to church- and today I wasn't going- no way, no how!  For an imaginative and unfocused 5 year old, sitting through 3 hours of church is akin to having your finger nails ripped out (either that or sitting through the entire filmography of every Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy ever made, yes ladies, I said it.) 

Having the remarkable ability of being a cute little kid, I was able to convince my parents- my Dad especially that I would be just fine staying home alone while they all went to church. 

A Sunday Morning

(I'm second from the left, in the bow tie)

My Dad gave me the phone number to the clerk's office of the church- so it would be easy to call when I was ready to come.  The family left, and I was on my own for the first time in my life. 

The way you would expect this story to go, is what my Dad expected, 5 minutes would pass and then I would call the church scared, helpless and ready to come to church.  Yet, he was surprised when 15 minutes had passed and there was no word.  So he headed home, expecting to see something like this:

Instead this is what he saw:

There I was, perfectly content, watching television.  "Brady, are you OK?"

"I'm fine, Dad."

"Don't you want to come to church with me?"

"Naw, I'll just stay here." 

My Dad went back to church, but kept coming back to the house every 15 minutes to check on me.  But it was always the same thing- a happy child, contentedly watching TV. 

He went back to church one last time, with 1/2 hour of church left, having lost the battle that day.  But soon, there was a tap on his shoulder, it was someone from the clerk's office.  "Nick, your son is on the phone, he sounds really upset and wants you to come home."

There was the call he had been looking for, he rushed home expecting to bring me back to church for the last 30 minutes.  When he arrived, the television was still on and I was hysterical.  I was watching MTV and my favorite music video had played (it so happens this is today's song as well) and I didn't know how to record it onto a Beta tape. 

I had called my Dad at the church hoping he could make back in time to record the video on a tape so I could watch it whenever I want, but he was too late! 

I never recovered from such a traumatizing experience.  28 years later, this song still plays in my head, and despite my convictions, I still have a hard time going to church.